P.J. Washington 19 Points Full Highlights (1/20/2020)

In the last video description I wrote for P.J. Washington, I introduced a revolutionary new product concept that was sure to be a money-printing factory for all involved parties: P.J.'s PJ's. P.J.'s PJ's are pajamas branded with P.J. Washington's name and offered in all the crazy teals and purples that normal Hornets jerseys are available in. Since NBA fans are known to be completely undiscerning when it comes to buying NBA-branded merchandise, and since something like a comfy set of pajamas would easily cross into "ironic" territory, thus opening wide the wallets of millennials everywhere, this idea makes 100% business sense.

However, since the idea was first proposed a week ago, I have not received any responses from anybody in the Hornets' media or marketing departments. Even my countless tweets to them have gone ignored. I'm puzzled as to why the Hornets organization would be so unreceptive to an idea that would make them so much money that they could go deep into the luxury tax for the next five decades without seeing a blip on their bottom line, but I can't change them. The only thing I can change is me. So I'm going into business for myself to make these things.

My mom used to be pretty good at sewing, but when I asked her to make five thousand pairs of teal pajamas (unisex tops and bottoms, plus some nightgowns for the ladies), she laughed at me and hung up the phone. Since I don't personally have any sewing ability, nor do I have the desire to learn how to sew, nor do I have the time to make five thousand individual garments, I looked into outsourcing this work to exploited laborers in third-world countries. Since Nike would be exploiting those people anyway, I don't feel that guilty about it. But none of the sweatshop owners wanted to talk with somebody small-time like me. It's like, uh, excuse me, but I'm not going to be small-time for long when my pajamas empire takes off. You'll be begging for me to pay you to use exploitative labor practices to get these pajamas into the hands of American consumers.

So I'm kind of stuck right now. I think I'll use staples and scissors to make some prototype pajamas out of some ratty blankets I stole from the homeless camp. That way I at least have a physical product I can show to investors. But you can bet your bottom dollar than DownToBuck will soon be able to cancel his Patreon because he'll be rolling in dough from the sales of P.J.'s PJ's.

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